i would punch a child for taco bell
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
