At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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