they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
