i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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