soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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