I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
