I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
