my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
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