brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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