Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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