Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
