The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
my god I love twenty year old dicks
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
