Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
