she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
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