i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
