Nicole vs. Life
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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