I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Randomize
