I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
We have started to decorate penises.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Randomize
