Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
