Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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