she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
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