he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Randomize