she woke up with a sticky ear
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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