It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I want a musical about memes.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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