I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
don't judge my taste in strippers
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
