i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
