Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
If I die, sorry about rent.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
