I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
My vagina just clenched in fear
Randomize
