you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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