I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
