mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
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