porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
The struggles of a small town man whore
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Randomize
