I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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