So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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