Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
