Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Randomize
