I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
We had sex on a dog bed..
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
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