i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Randomize
