We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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