Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
