I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
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