In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
you inspire me to be a worse person
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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