i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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