The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
you didnt know i had herpes?
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
The adults are the big ones right?
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
