i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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