i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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