don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Randomize
