Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize