You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
operation have a gay friend backfired
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
