im gay
i know
yea but for you.
that's an acceptable place to lick
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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