You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
