I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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