All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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