this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Church boner. Awkwardddd
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize