we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
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