I didn't shave. On purpose
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
