Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize