You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize
