Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
