No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
