I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
Who did Billy Mays play for?
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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