so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
