Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
