You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
