It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
