Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize