I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Randomize
