i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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