if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize