we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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