thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Randomize
