Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
i believe in u and ur pee
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
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