Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Randomize
