the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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